SYNOPSIS

Norm Hays has some strange disease or ailment that takes him to the ER or
possibly directly to the Operating Room in an unknown hospital, probably on
the grounds of Cherry Creek High School. The attendants try to get him on
the operating table but he falls off several times until finally he realizes
that it would be simpler, and safer, to get on the table himself, which he
proceeds to do. Surgeons Gus Buchtel and Hugh Calkins put on gowns, wash
their hands and feet, and under their arms for good measure, and proceed to
do strange things to Norm's body. Hugh gets a ruler down the throat and back up
again, and then the patient's reflexes are tested by delivering a bonk on
the head by a mallet, followed by Norm's doing the hokey-pokey on the
table (leg up, leg pushed down, arm up, arm pushed down etc etc). Using a
syringe suited to a large animal, Gus pulls some anesthesia out of a bottle
and injects Norm in the leg. The two surgeons then proceed to cut off the leg,
which is subsequently thrown away (the empty pants leg is exhibited in case
there was any doubt). Hugh calls for the nurse, who arrives looking very buxom
(all males in this film, so some cross-dressing was called for) and Hugh has
to restrain Gus who lunges after the nurse, eventually catching her on the
other side of the table and shaking her hand (what were we thinking??). Some
abdominal surgery is now needed and the patient has a very helpful "TO OPEN
CUT HERE" tattoo on his chest, with a line from the sternum to the belly
button (imagined, never actually seen). The cut is made and Gus proceeds to
extract a bloody sponge (has someone been watching a program about
malpractice?) and an alarm clock (which goes off in Gus' hand), then the guts, which
consist or very thin organs resembling string or rope, very long and
punctuated periodically by pennants (Army - which gets a cheer from Gus, XX,
which get a cheer from Hugh, and YY, which gets a cheer from the patient who
has apparently awakened momentarily from anesthesia). This event is followed
by some general commotion (it would be nice to have the script here) during
which a girlie magazine "CENSORED" appears and the crowd gathers around
to look at it, including the patient who has again emerged from anesthesia.
Policeman Dean Larson comes in wearing his Band Uniform and pushes the observers
away, allowing the operation to proceed, though not really because of the
difficulty that Gus has threading a small needle with a frayed rope. He finally
gives up after a protracted sequence of attempts, which become painful to watch,
and Norm, quite wisely, brings the proceedings to a halt by sitting up, grabbing
a blanket, and covering himself with "THE END". And a fine time was had by all.

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Some stills from significant moments in the video